So Channel 8 soap ‘The Little Nyonya’* has ended, and apparently 1 in 3 Singaporeans tuned in to its finale. Seow leow! That’s more than the number of people who vote in our elections! How come lai dat?**
Anyway, with such a runaway success, MediaCorp must already be planning spin-offs. We speculate on what they might look like:
POSSIBLE ‘LITTLE NYONYA’ SPINOFFS
1. The Dark Nyonya: by day, a Peranakan SPG, by night, she strikes fear into the hearts of criminals with her cincalok recipe
2. The Chronicles of Nyonya: the Bibik, the Bitch and the Buah Keluak
3. Casinonya Royale: Yueniang returns to Singapore for a mahjong smackdown
4. I, Rojak: the adventures of Yueniang’s offspring with their Japanese-Peranakan-British-and-later-got-donno-what-else blood
5. Nyonyas of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Kebaya
6. Lord of the Huangs: the Two Towkays
7. I Nyonya Stupid: Jack Neonya directs this tear-jerker about a mute schoolgirl who’s caned for failing her oral exam
8. Jurassic Peranakan: Scientists at Biopolis unleash horror on Singapore when they engineer dinosaurs from bird DNA found in bird’s nest sold by Yueniang.
9. Kung Fu Pantun: Pierre Png resurrects his Malay poem-spouting character, but this time as a silat expert.
10. You Don’t Mess With the Nyonya: wait she tie your hair tight-tight like her bun then you tzai si.
*Technically, as the child of a Japanese and a Nyonya, that would make her a ‘Nipponya’.
** It’s not like we can really understand what it means to have Chinese-Malay-Japanese history and suffer a lot but have to act dumb about it. Not to mention choosing the rich ang moh lawyer over the local dude you really love. Just saying only, lah.
This can also be found on the lst page of the bumper issue special of 8 days available in all stores from now til 1st February.
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